Tag Archives: Peter Crouch

Top 10 Funniest Football Chants

Funny-Football-Chants

When you are watching a football match in the stadium and your team is losing, then there is only one thing that can make you feel better and that are the hilarious chants and songs that just can’t stop you laughing.

Here are the 10 chants from the Premier League which we think are really funny…

1. Leeds Fans

‘You don’t know what you’re doing!” – 30,000 Leeds fans advise a man proposing on the pitch to his wife at Elland Road that marriage isn’t for everyone.

2. Emmanuel Petit

“He’s blond, he’s slick, his name’s a porno flick.” – Arsenal fans obviously think Emmanuel Petit has starred in a few choice home movies during his time. He wasn’t a bad footballer either.

3. Ashley Cole

“Oh Cheryl Tweedy you are the love of my life. Oh Cheryl Tweedy I wish you were my wife. Oh Cheryl Tweedy, We hate Ashley Cole too.” – Heard around many Premier League grounds as every red-blooded male in the land questions Ashley Cole’s decision-making in his private life.

4. Peter Crouch

“He’s big, he’s red, His feet stick out of bed. Peter Crouch!” – Liverpool fans were proud of their 6ft 7 striker, for whom the word gangly doesn’t do it justice.

5. Djimi Traore

“Don’t blame it on Biscan, don’t blame it on Finann, don’t blame it on Hamann, blame it on Traore. He just can’t, he just can’t, he just can’t control his feet…” (to the tune of Blame it on the boogie) – Liverpool fans embraced Djimi Traore’s own goal against Burnley as something of a masterpiece, even granting it its own song.

6. Bobby Zamora

“When you’re sat in row Z, and the ball hits your head, that’s Zamora.” – Fulham fans put on a brave face regarding striker Bobby Zamora’s scoring record for the club and inspired him to greatness with this song. Not exactly greatness, but he did win an England cap.

7. Habib Beye

“Sunday, Monday, Habib Beye. Tuesday, Wednesday, Habib Beye. Thursday, Friday, Habib Beye. Saturday, Habib Beye, rockin’ all week with you!” Newcastle fans enjoy a good sing-along about defender Habib Beye during his time at the club. It’s fair to say the Villa fans didn’t appreciate him quite as much.

8. Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink

“You’re just a fat Eddie Murphy” – Newcastle fans picked their doppelganger of the week when Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink visited St James’s Park. To be fair to Jimmy, even he laughed.

9. Tim Howard

“Tim timminy, Tim timminy, Tim Tim Tirooo. Weave got Tim Howard and he says f**k you!” – Everton fans love Tim Howard, their American goalkeeper, Tourettes Syndrome and all.

10. Rafael Benitez

“You’re just a fat Spanish waiter.” – The Middlesbrough fans spotted Rafa Benitez in their local tapas bar the night before the game with Liverpool. If Middlesbrough has a tapas bar that is?

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Steven Gerrard – The Pied Piper Of Anfield

Pied-Pipper-Of-Anfield

One of the greatest midfielders, Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard has been the lynchpin of the Reds for the past decade or so and has also been the part of the transformation plans of four managers since the triumphant spectacle at Istanbul. However, the critics have doubted the current influence of the 32-year old English captain.

Under the current Chelsea interim boss – Rafael Benitez, Anfield was a place most teams around Europe feared to go. It was a fortress in its true sense. A young Gerrrad was given a more advanced role to play, just behind the target man Fernando Torres, Peter Crouch or Andrei Voronin. With Xabi Alonso at the centre of the park and the smart Javier Mascherano as the holding midfielder – the link between the midfield & the back four – Gerrard was handed the responsibility of handling the attacking side of the game. Liverpool were known for their direct style of play, fluent passing and classic counter attacks. The 2008-09 season was the highlight of this Liverpool side’s strength and ability. Benitez was clearly a manager who understood each player’s psychology, style of play and the suitable position required for his effective influence in the side’s game. Gerrard was at his very best and had expressed his happiness under the Spanish boss.

Benitez-Formation
Liverpool’s formation under Rafa Benitez

Liverpool’s inability of holding on to Xabi Alonso and Javier Mascherano, the stalwarts of the Liverpool midfield was followed by the exit of Benitez. This led to a beginning of a doubtful and disappointing transition in the history of the football club. The entry of Roy Hodgson led to a hope for the Koptites as the former Fulham manager seemed like a hopeful perspective. But his tenure ended after just 31 matches following a run of disappointing results. Meanwhile, the Liverpool skipper suffered a recurring hamstring injury in training.

The sacking of Hodgson meant that Liverpool legend Kenny Dalglish would step in his shoes. After a struggling start and a serious injury Lucas Leiva, Gerrard was given a role of playing behind Jordan Henderson and play as a deep-lying playmaker, a position to which the English midfielder was not much acclimated to. The introduction of Stewart Downing, Charlie Adam and Henderson meant that the injury affected captain had to play behind the attacking midfielders. However, this was the time when the then 31 year-old midfielder suffered his major injury setbacks. He was sidelined for six months with a grueling groin injury and was again sidelined for an infection injury on his right ankle.

Dalglish-Formation
Liverpool’s formation under Kenny Dalglish

These injuries forced the manager to play him in a safe deep position which would keep him away from exertion and hard tackling and thus keep him away from further injuries. However, the fan favourite had mentioned in his interviews that he was more than willing to play the same role that he had played for Liverpool over the years but was happy with any role given by the manager. A 1-0 defeat on the final day of the season at  Swansea City meant the end of a disappointing era for Dalglish. Gerrard was criticized by many as a player too old for the British game but was still able to get 8 goals in the meager amount of games that he played.

Then came Brendan Rodgers. The former Swansea boss provides a whole new type of game of retaining the ball as quickly as possible and playing an aggressive & fast game. Meaning, the type of game Gerrard longs to play, with wholehearted commitment in every tackle.

Rodgers-Liverpool

However, the current role given to Gerrard has frustrated many a Liverpool fan. The influential and committed skipper has been given a tamed role of playing the ball in the final third from a deep position. But with a lack of strike force and a berserk Luis Suarez when it comes to finishing the obvious chances, the only support in the front-line, the midfielder is forced to give away the ball due to lack of options. The main and obvious remedy to this is to bring in a new striker, especially a striker who can make his presence felt in the box. The reason being that Jose Enrique and Raheem Sterling do all the hard work on the wings, taking defenders to the byline and then when they look up there is hardly a shadow in the box to aim at. Due to the inexperienced midfield comprising of Jonjo Shelvey and Joe Allen, Gerrard is given the responsibility of handling the defensive duties as well. For a 32-year-old it is too big a task. Allen after an impressive first three games has exposed his physical weakness and has given the ball away cheaply especially against the likes of Chelsea who have a hefty attacking line-up.

Remedy-Formation
The formation that Brendan Rodgers should play, which will get the best out of Gerrard

A makeshift solution can be of playing Lucas and Allen as the holding midfielders and Gerrard playing in front of them. This will enable him to move to either wing to support Sterling or the newly fullback turned left midfielder Jose Enrique as also of playing the final ball to Suarez or taking the shot on from outside the area, for which he was so feared till a season or two ago. The main problem is that the more deep he falls in the midfield the more the midfield looses its experience and the dynamic presence of an attacking and creative midfielder and thus his influence in the game reduces drastically. For a man who has given everything for his home club and wants to fulfill his only desire of winning the Premier League title, he should be given the role of a trequilesta, even if it drains out all his energy and has to sit out a third of the game.

Steven Gerrard’s Top Five England Matches

It was a sunny afternoon in May 2000 when Steve Gerrard made his promising England debut against Ukraine and more than 12 years later the Liverpool midfielder is set to win his 100th cap for the Three Lions when he captains them against Sweden on Wednesday night.

He may not have picked up any medals with the national team, but he has surely given his all in the national cause on many occasions. Here we have a look at his top five matches for the Three Lions..

September 2001 – Germany 1-5 England

Gerrard scores his first goal for his country as England come from a goal down to achieve one of their most memorable wins in Munich’s Olympic Stadium and revive their World Cup qualification hopes. Michael Owen scores a hat-trick and there is even a rare goal from Emile Heskey.

June 2006 – England 2 -0 Trinidad & Tobago

Gerrard puts the agony of missing out on the 2002 finals through injury behind him by netting his first World Cup tournament goal to seal victory after Peter Crouch nets the opener with only seven minutes remaining.

March 2007 – Andorra 0-3 England

Gerrard single-handedly wins it for England with an inspired second 45 minutes in this Euro 2008 qualifier against Andorra in Barcelona after a dismal first-half performance. He scores twice before David Nugent nets his only international goal.

September 2009 – England 5-1 Croatia

Revenge is sweet for Gerrard and his team-mates after missing out on the Euro 2008 finals as Croatia are hammered at Wembley to secure a place at the 2010 FIFA World Cup. The Liverpool skipper and Frank Lampard share four goals with Wayne Rooney the other man on the scoresheet.

June 2012 – England 1-1 France

One can sense the pride as Gerrard leads England into a major tournament – UEFA Euro 2012 – as official captain for the first time. He sets up the opener for Joleon Lescott with a pinpoint cross only for Samir Nasri to equalise. Gerrard was later named in the UEFA team of the tournament.

Premier League 2012/13 Team Preview – Stoke City

Welcome to IntoTheTopCorner’s team-by-team preview to the new Barclays Premier League season. Here we look at Stoke City’s vital stats, their summer transfers and analyse their chances.

Manager: Tony Pulis.
Captain: Ryan Shawcross.
Stadium: Britannia Stadium (27,740).
Last season: 14th.
Leading scorer (PL): Peter Crouch (10).
Odds: Title 1000-1. Relegation 5-1.

In: Geoff Cameron (£1.82m, Houston Dynamo), Michael Kightly (£2m. Wolves), Jamie Ness (Free, Rangers), Goran Popov (Loan, Dynamo Kiev).

Out: Ryan Brunt (Loan, Leyton), Danny Collins (£563k, Nottingham), Florent Cuvelier (Loan, Walsall), Andrew Davies (Free, Bradford), Salif Diao (Released), Matthew Lund (Released), Carlo Nash (Released), Mamady Sidibé (Released), Michael Tonge (Released), Jonathan Woodgate (Free, Middlesbrough).

Kits

Key Man – Ryan Shawcross
The former Manchester United man has been a rock at the back since his arrival at the Britannia Stadium in 2007. He has formed a formidable partnerhsip with the former Chelsea defender, Robert Huth and in a team that wins by slender margins, his aerial goal threat and presence in both the boxes is an invaluable asset. An injury to either player would be disastrous for Tony Pulis’ side.

Opening Fixtures
18-Aug – Reading (A)
26-Aug – Arsenal (H)
01-Sep – Wigan (A)
15-Sep – Man City (H)
22-Sep – Chelsea (A)
29-Sep – Swansea (H)

Probable Formation (4-4-2): Begovic; Wilson, Shawcross, Huth, Popov; Kightly, Whelan, Palacios, Etherington; Walters, Crouch.

Verdict: Stoke’s European adventure had side-effects and it affected their domestic campaign last season, but Tony Pulis’ men still have enough to upset some people over the next nine months. As always with the Potters, it’s their physicality that they will be known for. All over the field lies strength, from the defensive power of Ryan Shawcross to the rough and tumble of Jon Walters at the other end of the field. Peter Crouch adds a bit class to the team, but he’s more likely to bundle one over the line from a long-throw or a corner than score another wonder-volley or a overhead kick. I expect a slight improvement from last season. The fans will hope for a top half finish but with the lack of transfer activity this summer, they should settle for a mid-table position.

Prediction: 13th.

Top 25 Premier League Signings Of The Season

As we draw near the end of a thrilling season in the Premier League, almost everything is still up for grabs – relegation, UEFA Champions League qualification, and the title itself.

While we wait for those matters to be decided, let’s debate who the best signings of the season have been. Here are Into The Top Corner looks at the top 25 signings of this season. Tell us whether you agree or not in the comments section.

25. Steve Morrison – Millwall to Norwich for £2.5m

Canaries signed him in pre-season after the striker wanted to leave Millwall for a Premier League side. He has been influential for Norwich this season scoring goal at regular intervals with his last of the 8 league goals coming in the late win over West Brom in January.

24. Peter Crouch – Tottenham to Stoke for £10m

Joined Stoke on deadline day and has been Stoke’s top goal scorer with ten league goals from 30 appearances, including the stunning volley against Manchester City in 1-1 draw at the Britannia Stadium.

23. Samir Nasri – Arsenal to Manchester City for £24.2m

Started off his City career on a high, assisting four goals in his first two matches but as the season progressed his form dipped and he was dropped to the bench. But he has been in good form off late since his winner against Chelsea in the 2-1 win at the Etihad.

22. David De Gea – Atletico Madrid to Manchester United for £17.6m

After a lot of scouting he was brought in to succeed Edwin van der Sar, but the young Spaniard took some time to settle and during that time he struggled a lot. But the last minute fingertips save from a Juan Mata freekick at Stamford Bridge was probably the turning in his career at Old Trafford. Since then his stock has risen and he has been one of United’s key performers in the 2nd half of the season.

21. James McLean – Derry City to Sunderland for £350k

The young winger has been one of Sunderland’s signings of the season. Since the arrival of Martin O’Neill, the Irishman’s performance has improved a lot and could well be in Irish squad for the Euro 2012 in Poland and Ukraine.

20. Brad Friedel – Aston Villa to Tottenham Hotspur for Free

The veteran and the highly experienced keeper has been very reliable and solid between the sticks for Spurs this season erasing memories of the error-prone Heurelho Gomes. The former Liverpool man didn’t cost a penny for the London club.

19. Sebastian Larsson – Birmingham City to Sunderland for Free

The Swede was impressive towards the end of last season for the Blues and he has continued that form in this season for the Black Cats. Was inconsistent at the start of the season but since Martin O’Neill taking charge at the Stadium of Light, he has been very effective.

18. Ashley Young – Aston Villa to Manchester United for £15.8m

Has had an inconsistent season mostly affected by injuries but whenever he has played he has given his all. The winger has scored 5 goals this season all worth a watch and Ferguson will feel the Englishman as a player who can offer United a lot more.

17. Pavel Pogrebnyak – Stuttgart to Fulham on Loan

The Russian international who is on loan from Stuttgart has been a hit for the Cottagers since his move in January. Former Spartak Moscow and Zenit striker has scored 6 goals in 8 appearances this season and the London club would be hoping to seal a deal for him which would see him stay permanently.

16. Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain – Southampton to Arsenal for £12m

The youngster has immense potential in him and has already shown what he can do in his rare appearances for the Arsenal first team. Became the youngest Englishman to score in the Champions League and was also nominated for the PFA Young Player of Year Award.

15. Jose Enrique – Newcastle United to Liverpool for £7m

Has been inconsistent Liverpool’s most consistent performer this season. The Spaniard joined at the start of the season and has given a solid performance in his each and every match. Is one of the best left-backs in the Premier League and for just £7m, not bad at all.

14. Yakubu – Everton to Blackburn Rovers for £1.5m

The Nigerian has been Blackburn’s player of the season and top goal-scorer of the season with 16 league goals which included the famous brace against Manchester United at Old Trafford. If it wasn’t for his goals, Blackburn would have been relegated by Christmas.

13. Gylfi Sigurdsson – TSG Hoffenhiem to Swansea City on Loan

He has been Swansea’s star since arriving in January with some excellent displays. Has notched up seven goals and three assist this season and the Swans would surely be looking to secure him on the permanent basis.

12. Yohan Cabaye – Lille to Newcastle United for £4.4m

The talented French midfielder has been Newcastle’s main man in the midfield and has made a huge impact since joining the Magpies in the summer. The France international has scored four goals and assisted nine in his 32 league appearances.

11. Phil Jones – Blackburn Rovers to Manchester United for £17m

The youngster has shown his immense potential and maturity since his move to Old Trafford. Add to that he has also shown his versatility by playing in various positions and has performed well in each of those positions.

10. Emmanuel Adebayor – Manchester City for Tottenham Hotspur on Loan

Adebayor may only be on loan but he is arguably the reason why the North London is challenging for a Champions League spot this season. The Togo international has 16 goals and 11 assists to his name this season.

9. Nikica Jelavic – Rangers to Everton for £5.5m

Has to be one of the best signings ever made by David Moyes during his 10 years at the club. His hard work ethic has endeared him to the Goodison Park faithful his record of ten goals in eleven starts – including the 2 in the 4-4 draw at Old Trafford – isn’t bad at all.

8. Paul Scholes – Out of Retirement to Manchester United

Not exactly a transfer but since his return United have looked a completely different side. The 37-year-old’s experience in the center of the midfield has been very important to United’s success and challenge for the Premier League title post January.

7. Michael Vorm – FC Utrecht to Swansea City for £1.5m

The Dutch keeper has been one of the reasons for Swansea’s defensive record this season and their brilliant display in their debut Premier League season. If his form continues, he well may travel with the Dutch squad to Poland and Ukraine.

6. Mikel Arteta – Everton to Arsenal for £10.5m

Arteta has been one of those panic buys made by Arsene Wenger which has been successful. The stylish midfielder was brought to replace Fabregas and he got better and better as the season progressed and his winner against Manchester City will be long remembered by all Arsenal fans.

5. Juan Mata – Valencia to Chelsea for £24m

Quality crafty Spaniard has to be Chelsea player of the year this season. He has been in dangerous form whole season scoring 12 goals and setting up 22 goals for the Blues in all competitions. Possibly the one and only bright spot of otherwise up and down Blues Premier League season.

4. Scott Parker – West Ham United to Tottenham Hotspur for £5.5m

Parker’s career has been on the rise since the start of last season and it gets better and better. The guts and guile of the England international has given Harry Redknapp’s stylish and attacking minded team some steel in the midfield. At £5.5m his signing represents incredible value.

3. Papiss Cisse – Freiburg to Newcastle United for £10m

The Senegalese international striker has been in red hot form since his January move to the Sports Direct Arena. He has scored a record breaking 13 goals in just 12 games, including two stunners against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. He is probably one of the reasons why Newcastle United are fighting for a Champions League place.

2. Sergio Aguero – Atletico Madrid to Manchester City for £39.6m

Although City spent a huge amount of money to get the Argentine to Manchester, he has still delivered on that fee and more. Diego Maradona’s son-in-law has scored an impressive amount of 22 league goals this season and also has nine assists to his name.

1. Demba Ba – West Ham United to Newcastle United for Free

The signing of the season!! Ba gave the Magpies the perfect start to season and is probably the reason for Newcastle’s brilliant performance this season. The Senegalese international has 16 goals to his name and best part is that he didn’t anything and that’s why he is our signing of the season.

Top 10 Players To Win Most Penalties

Ashley Young has been criticised for going over easily in the box, after winning two controversial penalties in as many weeks(against QPR & Aston Villa) for Manachester United.

All of which got us wondering which players win the most penalties in the Premier League. Into The Top Corner looks back over the past 10 years, from the start of the 2002/03 season, and came up with a list of players who’ve been awarded the highest number of spot-kicks in that time.

10. Adam Johnson – 6 penalties in 179 appearances

Kicking off the top 10, it’s the former Middlesbrough and current Man City winger Adam Johnson.

9. Salomon Kalou – 6 penalties in 151 appearances

Chelsea’s Kalou has won the Premier League, League Cup and three FA Cups at Chelsea. He’s also won a few penalties

8. Yakubu – 7 penalties in 248 appearances

For Portsmouth, Everton and Blackburn, Yakubu’s been a handful in the box in more ways than one.

7. Didier Drogba – 7 penalties in 224 appearances

Didier Drogba has a reputation for going over easily, especially considering his size and he’s won a fair few penalties, although his fans would no doubt claim that’s because defenders can’t handle him.

6. Steven Gerrard – 9 penalties in 302 appearances

Steven Gerrard has definitely won some dodgy penalties in his time, but his surging runs into the box do tempt defenders into rash challengers.

5. Peter Crouch – 9 penalties in 280 appearances

Crouch is an awkward customer and his gangly frame has been toppled over for nine penalties at various clubs, including Stoke, Spurs and Liverpool.

4. Gabriel Agbonlahor – 10 penalties in 211 appearances

Villa’s flying forward has been sent flying on 10 occasions to win a penalty in the box in just 211 Premier League games to date.

3. Darrent Bent – 11 penalties in 240 appearances

He scores plenty of goals and he’s won plenty of pens. Darren Bent has always spelled trouble for the opposition, from his days at Ipswich, through to Villa via Charlton, Spurs and Sunderland.

2. Ashley Young – 11 penalties in 200 appearances

He’s won some controversial penalties this season and Ashley Young is no stranger to hearing the whistle parp in his favour, but there is one player who’s won even more penalties in fewer Premier League games over the past decade.

1. Andrew Johnson – 14 penalties in 184 appearances

Andrew Johnson has won a whopping 14 penalties in just 184 Premier League games, which works out as a spot-kick every 13 matches. Be careful when you’re tackling Johnson in the box, Premier League defenders!